1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,160
SIRENS,
POLICE RADIO CHATTER

2
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:13,040
This is an injustice.
Free the Scouse Four.

3
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,079
I've never been arrested before.

4
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:20,719
What an incredible experience.
Do I tip at the end, or...?

5
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,719
HE PANTS
I'm claustrophobic.

6
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,279
Have you just slapped my arse? Hey?

7
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,079
Seriously, though,
I didn't do anything.

8
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,999
Was the knee in the back a Liverpool
thing or just a personal touch?

9
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,319
Fine, I've cracked.

10
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,319
Connor's got loads of cocaine
up his arse.

11
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,919
You need to go full cavity, lads.
Full cavity.

12
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,160
Reece, that's not funny, lad.
What are you do...?

13
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,240
POLICE OFFICER: We've caught you
right there, lad.

14
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,519
You're the only one
that saw what happened.

15
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,960
So, come on, who did it?

16
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,839
ALL:

17
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,959
? We're in your head

18
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:06,200
? Bizzy, bizzy
Bizzie, see, see. ?

19
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,919
And thus the Jaffa cake,
while technically not a biscuit,

20
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:31,679
betters the biscuit tin,
which is why immigration is good.

21
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

22
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,159
Allowing users like Catherine

23
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,999
to hide behind the anonymity
of their online profiles.

24
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,159
That's not how you spell definitely.

25
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,119
Go and beat yourself to death
with a dictionary,

26
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,919
you thick as pig shit
illiterate fuck.

27
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,199
And be an absolute twat
on social media.

28
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

29
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,400
VIOLINS PLAY

30
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,039
What the hell are we gonna do?

31
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,319
Don't worry, lad. I've got this.

32
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:10,759
? You can shove your violins
Up your arse

33
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,879
? They don't speak to us
Just the middle class

34
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,439
? They pull a stupid face
Spend years having lessons

35
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,159
? And knocking out these bangers
In ten seconds

36
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,799
ALL:
Up your arse

37
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,159
? They don't speak to us
Just the middle class

38
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,999
? They pull a stupid face

39
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,919
? Spend years having lessons

40
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,559
? And knocking out these bangers
In ten seconds. ?

41
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,600
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

42
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,359
So... thanks to Reece
and Christopher,

43
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:49,439
this Friday, Allsbrooke will be
both hosting and competing

44
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:54,559
in the grand final of the UK
National Debating Championships.

45
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

46
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,280
I can now announce your opponents...

47
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,759
...and they are...

48
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,639
CROWD CHEERS

49
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:08,320
...Roderick White and Nathan Williams
of Queenswood House, Surrey.

50
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,199
I'd like to tell you a little story.

51
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,679
Twenty years ago...

52
00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,039
What's wrong
with your fat Lando Norris head?

53
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,479
Queenswood House is my old school.

54
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,439
So you know them lads?
Yeah, they're my mates.

55
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,799
So, what's the problem?
Nothing, it's just...

56
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,680
You lot meeting them,
it's a bit weird, isn't it?

57
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:30,799
You're weird, lad.

58
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,999
...which is why I would encourage you

59
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,919
to give them a big
Allsbrooke welcome when they arrive.

60
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,239
Thank you, sir.

61
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,119
Now onto to the main announcement.
That was the main announcement.

62
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,559
Sir...
EXCLAMATIONS

63
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,799
PUPIL: He's getting close there.

64
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,719
PUPIL 2: Is he gonna kiss him?
I respect you.

65
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,559
O-O-OK.

66
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,200
OK. Thank you.

67
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,680
I know how you all see me.

68
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,439
Lewis the psycho.

69
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,639
PUPIL 3: Spot on, lad.

70
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,919
Lewis the bully.
PUPIL 4: Yeah, lad.

71
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,959
Lewis the wanker.
PUPIL 5: Best at the game.

72
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,679
LAUGHTER PUPIL 6: He is, like.

73
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,719
But today is the day
that all changes.

74
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,400
Today... I become a new man.

75
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,720
Today, I launch...

76
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,519
PUPIL 7: Are you messing?

77
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:25,599
And guiding me through these
12 steps is a man close to my heart.

78
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,599
An inspiration.

79
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,759
A successfully recovered
tugger and scrapper

80
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,799
who just last week convinced me
to join him

81
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,159
on this beautiful path
that is recovery.

82
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:42,919
Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for Toby!

83
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,359
ALL: Who?

84
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,879
Thank you, thank you.

85
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,719
PUPIL 8: Who's Toby?
Hang on!

86
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,839
That's the lad who kicked my head in
in that house party.

87
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,279
And made me watch.

88
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:56,199
The first step on my path
towards recovery...

89
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,999
is to apologise
to all those I've wronged.

90
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,160
Well said.

91
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,839
'All right, Lewis,
tell us what you see.'

92
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,959
What? Wrong video.

93
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,439
Lad, what's that?

94
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,480
'Tits.'
LAUGHTER

95
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:19,119
Lad, this part of recovery
is not for public consumption.

96
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,239
Turn it off!
It's not letting me.

97
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,200
'Tell us what you see.'

98
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,639
'More tits.'

99
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,119
Does this look familiar, lad?

100
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,999
Turn it off. Turn it off.

101
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,279
I'm trying!

102
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,439
LAUGHTER 'And this one?'

103
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:37,760
'My dad. I... I... I see my dad...

104
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,560
'..with tits!'

105
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,479
I can't do this, lads.
REECE: Here, I'll kiss them.

106
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,440
LAUGHTER

107
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,359
MO: Hey, hey, Lewis!

108
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,279
What do you see here, lad?
MO LAUGHS

109
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,759
Your Aunt Zoe called,

110
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,839
told us about your dad's MS
and how it's been getting worse

111
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,079
and how you're having
to look after him all by yourself.

112
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,679
Something just hit me -
how family is family

113
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,599
and how the past
doesn't really matter

114
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,040
when something like this happens.

115
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,679
Look... I can't go back and change
what's happened between us,

116
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,720
but I can be here now to help...

117
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,959
...if you'll let me.

118
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,640
SCATTERED APPLAUSE

119
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,160
What a performance, eh, love?

120
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,239
"Family is family."
Did you get that one, Dad?

121
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,119
Yeah, I'm just waiting on
"life's too short",

122
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,519
and then I've got a full house.

123
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,999
You don't have to forgive me,
but at least let me help.

124
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,239
I've already done a shop.

125
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,319
And I'll sort
them overdue bills I've seen.

126
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,519
Hang on. Who says we need your help?

127
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,199
You're clearly struggling.

128
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,919
Come on, Wayne,
this is no life for a girl her age.

129
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,479
Do you know what? I can't take
any more of this shit from you.

130
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,199
Do you know what was no life
for her, Anna, hey?

131
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,559
A life without her mum.

132
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,639
And that's something
that you took from her.

133
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,279
So don't you dare
come into this house

134
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:04,439
and pretend to feel sorry for us,
acting like the past doesn't matter!

135
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:05,639
Well, I tell you what, girl.

136
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,959
It matters to me,
and it matters to her.

137
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,080
so get your stuff and get out!

138
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,359
I'm staying in a hotel in town
if you change your mind.

139
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,880
We won't.

140
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,080
Ta-ra.

141
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,439
Go 'ead, Wayne, lad.

142
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,559
She genuinely thought a Tesco shop
and a few fake tears

143
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:32,959
were gonna win us over.

144
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,959
Unbelievable, eh?
That's what I'm telling you about.

145
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,399
SHE SIGHS

146
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,080
I tell you what, though.

147
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,839
She has got some decent scran
in them bags.

148
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,199
Has she?
Yeah.

149
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,280
I saw some of them Danish pastries
we like.

150
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,520
But we're not eating them.
Course not.

151
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,079
HE GRUNTS
See you later.

152
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:59,559
Last time we did this, it was
for Klopp's leaving announcement.

153
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,959
MO SIGHS
We got through that.

154
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,439
We're gonna get through this.

155
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,319
Jesus, boys. Who died?

156
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,519
We did, lad. We did.

157
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:09,799
What?

158
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,439
Lad, you're not gonna wanna hang
with us savages any more.

159
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,759
What are you on about?
Your old mates.

160
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,919
We're not gonna get a look in
once they get here.

161
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,599
As if.
I know how this goes, lad.

162
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,159
We're the Choco Rice from Aldi,

163
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,519
and they're the real thing,
Kellogg's Coco Pops.

164
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,519
Do you want us to bow down
to these mates of yours?

165
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,919
RODERICK: Oh, we'd prefer
you kiss the family ring.

166
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,079
NATHAN: Or ring peace.

167
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,999
CHEERING CHRISTOPHER: Hey!

168
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,359
All right, boys?

169
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,919
CHEERING,
LAUGHTER

170
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,239
Bring it in. Come on.
Long time no see, Chrissy.

171
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,839
Yeah, what, no signal up here?

172
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,119
Erm... Yeah.

173
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,919
Sorry. I... I meant to reply.
I've just...

174
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,799
I've been busy.
Yeah.

175
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:51,999
Erm, Roderick, Nathan,
this is Ted, Mo,

176
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,359
Connor and Reece.

177
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,359
What, so, this is
why you've been busy?

178
00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,199
I mean, you've joined the shittest
Scouse boy band that's ever lived.

179
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,639
Coming from
the Made In Chelsea reject?

180
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,879
Sorry, could you...?

181
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,639
Could you repeat that in English,
please? Whoa, careful now.

182
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,399
They don't like
even being called English,

183
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,639
never mind speaking it.

184
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,759
Don't worry, lad,
I can translate for you.

185
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,799
He's calling you a bunch of posh...

186
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,039
Well, isn't this fun, hey?
All of us being together.

187
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,799
Reece, we've been hearing a lot
about you in the debating circles.

188
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,799
ALL: "Debating circles."
What can I say, lads?

189
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,079
I'm a natural.
You really are.

190
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,799
If you're debating sitting
claiming benefits. Nathan!

191
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,519
How about sitting on your arse
debating claiming Daddy's money?

192
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,759
How about you put your hand up

193
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,479
if you know who your daddy is.
Oh, I do.

194
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,640
CLAMOURING

195
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,119
ALL: Please. Please. Please.
Please. Please.

196
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,359
Good to see you're still
an easy windup, mate.

197
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,239
Hi, nice to meet you all in person.
What's going on?!

198
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,039
Well, I seen you worrying
about us meeting,

199
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,679
so I thought I'd reach out,
offer a little Scouse welcome.

200
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,839
Come up with a few ways
to take the piss out of you.

201
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:58,399
Oh, boys, I'm sorry if the dad joke
was a little bit too far.

202
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,599
Oh, no, it was spot on.

203
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,599
Connor still doesn't believe me that
some dads actually live at home.

204
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,279
Lad, I'm not falling for that one.

205
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,519
LAUGHTER

206
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,399
CHATTERING

207
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,479
So, years after ditching you,
she comes back, apologises,

208
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,639
and then offers to help look after
your sick dad?

209
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,799
Yeah. Pay all your bills,
and do all your shopping,

210
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,879
cooking, and cleaning?

211
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,159
Yeah. Yeah, she sounds
like a right witch (!)

212
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,239
I know!
And if you look to the right,

213
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,239
you'll see
the '08 Allsbrooke basketball team.

214
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,919
Or as enthusiasts like myself
like to call it,

215
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,399
The Unfortunate Case Of Jamie Nugent
Wearing Baggy Shorts.

216
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,839
Look carefully, lad.
Wow.

217
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,599
His left nut is really hanging
out of those shorts, isn't it?

218
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,919
Don't get too excited.
Me mouth's watering. Oh, fuck.

219
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,879
You lads tour guides now?

220
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,839
And if you cast your eyes
to the left,

221
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,879
now, I know this might be
a cultural experience

222
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,319
for some of you,
we have our next exhibit -

223
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,839
working-class girls.

224
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:56,279
Relatively fit, but very loud
and painfully opinionated.

225
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,719
Shut up, you little dickhead.

226
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,279
Wow, an interactive piece.

227
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,319
You know, if you boys would like
a more private exclusive tour,

228
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,919
then just let us know.

229
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,600
I'll take a private.
Aimee?!

230
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,200
What do you want?

231
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,119
To apologise
for the way I treated you

232
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,600
when we were together...

233
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,759
...and when we broke up.

234
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,719
That's actually quite big of you.

235
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,359
I did things no... no man

236
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,919
of a respectable character
should do.

237
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,080
And I'm sorry...

238
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,839
...for the times I begged you
to shove things up your arse.

239
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,679
And the times I begged you
to shove things up my arse.

240
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,799
REECE: Oh, my God!

241
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,239
You don't need to apologise, mate.
It was NEVER gonna happen.

242
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,519
STUDENTS: Ooh!

243
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,079
Sorry for the time
I cheated on you...

244
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,199
STUDENT: Wow, this is wild.
What?

245
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,759
...with your cousin...
GASPING

246
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,199
...at your nan's wake.

247
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,919
STUDENT: Ah, mate.

248
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,199
HUSHED: In your nan's bed.

249
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,919
STUDENT: Oh, he's a rat, him.

250
00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,079
And, er, wiped me cum
wi' your nan's dressing gown.

251
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,959
STUDENT: Ee, that is vile.

252
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,159
What? No, no, no. I'm apologising.

253
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,719
You seriously did that?!

254
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,039
Well, yeah,
but I'm sorry about it.

255
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,679
Oh, my God!
You're not well, you.

256
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,319
STUDENT: Nah, that's bad, that.

257
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,919
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

258
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,879
Oh, here we go.

259
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,559
I need to apologise for turning
you dead nan's stairlift

260
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:23,879
into a sex swing.

261
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,399
STUDENTS EXCLAIM
You're beyond recovery.

262
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,479
You're sick in the head.
Eeh.

263
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,919
What a perve.

264
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,279
STUDENTS ALL TALK
AT ONCE

265
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,320
Oh. Oh.
TOBY: Lad.

266
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,879
TED: 12-step bellend.

267
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,639
I don't know if I can do this.
You can, lad.

268
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,719
I believe in you.
And what do you know, eh?

269
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,959
You haven't even apologised
to your ma for being born.

270
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,079
I have.

271
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,279
Lewis, look, I wouldn't be
asking you to do it if...

272
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,319
if I didn't think you could.

273
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,360
Do you know? I believe in you.

274
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,839
Thank you, lad.
I really needed to hear that.

275
00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,800
He just said the same thing I said.
Oh, I haven't got time for it, lad!

276
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,559
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

277
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,879
RODERICK: Hey, so what was he like
when he first got here?

278
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,559
Oh. So, as part of his initiation
to the group, yeah,

279
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,679
we made him go round
every house on the estate

280
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,039
and introduce himself with...

281
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,239
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
G'wed, it was funny.

282
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,199
POSH VOICE: Hello,
my name's Christopher.

283
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,759
I've just taken up residence nearby,

284
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,519
and I like to regularly
pleasure myself

285
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,759
to Princess Anne's
equestrian highlights.

286
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,800
Carry on.
LAUGHTER

287
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,599
Lads, next question,

288
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,639
who came number one
in Christopher's Spotify Wrapped?

289
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,719
Er, I don't know, Co... Coldplay.
No.

290
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,719
You... You do like them, don't you?
Course not.

291
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,359
Reece?
Whale noises and ocean sounds.

292
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,479
Correct. Ey-heh-heh!

293
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,079
Helps him get to sleep, lad.

294
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,359
All right, the final question
in the inaugural

295
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,719
Who Knows Christopher Better,

296
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,039
who was Chrissy's
first celebrity crush?

297
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,519
Oh, Kate Middleton.
Wrong.

298
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,319
The rabbit off Zootopia
with the fat arse. Correct!

299
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,639
CHEERING

300
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,080
ALL CHANTING: Reece, Reece, Reece.

301
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,160
Unlucky, lad.

302
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,599
What's that?

303
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,319
Batshit Barry's Scrapyard. Why?

304
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,559
RODERICK CHUCKLES
Hey, where you going?

305
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,159
Oh, we're in Liverpool, Nathan.

306
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,759
Be a shame
not to see all the sights.

307
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,239
You can't just walk in.

308
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,879
Yeah, we'll find a way. Come on.
Wait!

309
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,479
No, no, lad.
Don't know about that, you know.

310
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,839
What, you Scousers, yeah?

311
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,279
Always going on about us
having sticks up our arses

312
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,680
when here you are,
too scared to break a few rules.

313
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,079
I'm not scared, like, lad.
REECE: Ah.

314
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,719
Mate.
I'll rob a car.

315
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,119
Barry's gonna kill us.

316
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,560
POLICE OFFICER: 'You really
didn't see who did it?'

317
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,839
No.

318
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,720
OK. All right. Go on, you can go.

319
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,999
But that's not
what your mate Roderick said.

320
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,920
He says you'd back him up.

321
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,480
Back him up on what?
That Reece did it.

322
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,679
I'd think really carefully
before lying, lad.

323
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,400
Especially with that caution
of yours.

324
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,999
Cos this on top of your previous

325
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,519
means you're going straight
to the detention centre.

326
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,000
So...

327
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,360
...you can either
back his statement...

328
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,120
...or you can tell us what happened.

329
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,319
Anyone need a lift home?

330
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,479
Come on, mate.
It's bad enough we're even in here.

331
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,440
Yeah, you're gonna break it, lad.
And I wanna go first.

332
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,399
ENGINE STARTS

333
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,639
I could hear Reece and Roderick
arguing on the forklift.

334
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,519
REECE: I'm gonna be driving, lad.
Why you wanna be driving?

335
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,600
'Suddenly,
I saw it flying down the ramp.

336
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,560
'It smashed into the owner's car.'

337
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,320
No.

338
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,279
PANICKED BREATHING

339
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,559
'Roderick was driving it.'

340
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,639
Lad, I told you
to stop messing about.

341
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,599
SIREN WAILS

342
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,480
Let's go.

343
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,879
Come out, hurry up.
CONNOR: Are we off?

344
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,119
MO: Yeah, let's go, lad.

345
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,559
Get your shoes, get your shoes.
TED: Thank you.

346
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,160
Go ahead.
MO: Let's go. Ha-ha-ha.

347
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,039
Uh-uh, not you. This way.

348
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,240
Your shoes. Come on.

349
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,920
Hey.

350
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,199
Rod. Wait.

351
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,199
Do you want to fuck me over
in person this time?

352
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,839
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine, actually.

353
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,599
Now I know where we stand.
Come on.

354
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,319
What?! Mates don't
screw each other over.

355
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,639
Like how you screwed over Reece?

356
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,479
RODRICK SCOFFS
No, I didn't screw over Reece.

357
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,919
For that, I'd have to give a shit
about him in the first place.

358
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,279
What's going on, Rod?
This isn't you.

359
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,839
How would you know?

360
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,839
How would you know?
It's not like we talk any more.

361
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,479
Yeah, we do.
No. No, we don't.

362
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,759
You pissed off up here,
and that was that.

363
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,479
I didn't piss off. My mum died.
I know!

364
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,199
I was there for you.

365
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,879
I was... I was there when...
when you took it out on that guy.

366
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,679
When you got charged.

367
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,560
I... I was there for you, man.
I had your back.

368
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,480
And you used to have mine, too.

369
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,479
And, yeah, yeah,
I know we didn't say it,

370
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,479
but we knew that if we wanted
to stay best friends,

371
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,559
then we'd have to try.

372
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,360
Well, I tried, Chris.

373
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,959
I tried, Chris, I did, but you...

374
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,480
you got your new friends, so I guess
you didn't have to, did you?

375
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,879
That's not fair.

376
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,160
SCOFFS

377
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,440
I'll see you at the debate, man.

378
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,200
? Somewhere...

379
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,639
? Somewhere... ?
Fix your posture.

380
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,799
YELPS

381
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,319
Sorry.

382
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,559
HUFFS

383
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,919
How'd you get in 'ere?
Your dad let us in.

384
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,759
He says he felt bad
about the other day,

385
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,279
so he invited us round for a quickie
for old time's sake.

386
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,559
You what?

387
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,679
CHUCKLES

388
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,319
You left the back door open,
soft girl.

389
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,839
Oh.

390
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,839
I was coming round
to drop some take-away off,

391
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,439
and I heard you singing.

392
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,559
Come here.

393
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,680
Right.

394
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,680
Breathe.

395
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,080
Try now.

396
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:59,319
? Somewhere
BOTH: Over the rainbow

397
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:03,559
? Way up high. ?

398
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,719
BOTH CHUCKLE

399
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,199
What? Did you think
you got your voice off your dad?

400
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,719
No.

401
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,999
I can help you, you know.
Wi' your prep.

402
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,880
If you wanted.
Why did you leave?

403
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,120
Sorry. It's just...

404
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:22,679
Me dad told me about you drinking,
and how you weren't about.

405
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:27,600
Ah. I... I got
a very different side to Wayne.

406
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,079
When I was with him, it was like
our whole lives had been decided.

407
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:38,399
Same street, same job,
same boring old pub every Saturday.

408
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,040
And he was content with that, but...

409
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,240
...I wanted to feel like
I was still becoming someone.

410
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,479
But he'd get so angry wi' me.

411
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,079
Like, how dare I want
something different than him.

412
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,400
I couldn't breathe, Aim,
and I tried reaching out, but...

413
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,799
...every time I did, he just said
you didn't want to know me.

414
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,160
He... He never told me
you tried to reach out.

415
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:14,080
I wasn't perfect, Aim,
but I was no pisshead.

416
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,719
I missed you every single day,

417
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:25,080
and I never,
ever stopped loving you.

418
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

419
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,319
Best of luck, boys.

420
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,199
We won't need it.
Oh, why?

421
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,799
Are we just cooking up
another biscuit tin analogy?

422
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,319
Oh, I've got a new analogy, lads.

423
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,439
One about cutting the head
off a snake.

424
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,759
OK, teams.

425
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,079
MR DUNN CLEARS THROAT

426
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,959
Today's topic which Allsbrooke
will be arguing for

427
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,400
and Queenswood House
will be arguing against is...

428
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,759
Oof.
CHUCKLES

429
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,079
...private schools
should be abolished.

430
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,359
Hm. Prepare for drama.
CHUCKLES

431
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,599
Let's get to it!

432
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,559
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

433
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,559
Which leads me to say
that private schools fuel elitism.

434
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,599
Queenswood rebuttal.

435
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,839
To generalise private schools
as elitist is elitist in itself.

436
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,679
They reward the best and brightest.

437
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:26,999
Allsbrooke rebuttal.

438
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,239
Who decides the best and brightest?

439
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,959
They benefit the economy.

440
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,039
Rebuttal.
By creating inequality.

441
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,879
Helping to further fuel
the UK class divide.

442
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:35,959
Counterpoint.

443
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,639
Why punish students
for the faults of politicians?

444
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,319
Overpriced, overrated.

445
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,639
Better prospects.

446
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,399
Quality accommodation.
Having to live in school.

447
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,239
Football.
Rowing. Benedict Cumberbatch.

448
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,319
Stevie Graham!

449
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

450
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,319
I need to apologise
for selling pics of your feet.

451
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,600
Lewis, just piss off, will you?

452
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,799
Sorry, Aimee.
I was talking to Mia-Louise.

453
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,360
Eeh.
Gimp.

454
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,880
PHONE BUZZES

455
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,239
Hi, Dad.

456
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,759
Aimee, where have you been, love?
I've been worried sick.

457
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,399
You're getting worried sick
confused with sleeping on the couch.

458
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,079
Aimee, I'm being serious.

459
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,759
'Where have you been?'
I stayed at Mia-Louise's last night.

460
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,719
Search party
wouldn't have had to look far.

461
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,079
Well, you need to tell me.

462
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,959
Didn't realise I had to check in
every five minutes.

463
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,959
What time
are you gonna be back later?

464
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,799
'I don't know.'
You what?

465
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,719
'Why, where are you going?'
I'm meeting Anna.

466
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,479
Are you joking me?!

467
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,759
She's gonna help me with me singing.

468
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,719
Aimee, after everything
that we've talked about?

469
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,519
I know, but she is me mum.

470
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,039
And I'm your dad!

471
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,319
And I'm telling you now,
you are not going to see her.

472
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,280
'Do you hear me?
Aimee, she can't be...'

473
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,679
Fuck!

474
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,160
HUFFS

475
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,879
Boys, I just overheard
the adjudicators.

476
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,999
It is neck and neck,
down to the wire,

477
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,679
sticky wickets, squeaky bum time,
balls to the wall.

478
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,239
The big one, the haymaker.

479
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,799
We're going in hard.
How hard? Gerard.

480
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,399
Cos this is our one night
in Istanbul!

481
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,479
Oh, I feel really hot.

482
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,519
Is it just me, or is it really hot?
Are you hot?

483
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,519
Cos I feel really hot.
Get it together, sir.

484
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,399
Yeah. Yeah. Relax.

485
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,719
Remember,
you have to make them believe

486
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,119
that this
is the only possible truth.

487
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,119
Say what you really believe, OK?

488
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,119
Something only you could say.

489
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,600
So...

490
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,560
...who's closing?

491
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,040
I'll do it. I'll close.

492
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,640
Boys, let's go give it to 'em.

493
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,479
OK, everyone,
we've heard from Queenswood House

494
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,199
with their closing argument,
now Allsbrooke's Christopher.

495
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

496
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,079
Look, I know it's a bit ironic
having me argue to get rid

497
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,759
of the very thing I'm a product of.

498
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,199
But as someone who's experienced
both private and state schools,

499
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,959
I'm probably the best one
to argue it.

500
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,240
Though, to be honest,
despite all I've said today...

501
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,840
...I actually loved my old school.

502
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,400
I love where I'm from.

503
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,839
And believe it or not,
I even love these two arseholes.

504
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,320
LAUGHTER

505
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:32,000
Though I know to them, it may not
have always seemed that way.

506
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,040
When I lost my mum...

507
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,200
...I started to lose myself.

508
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,520
I started to lash out...

509
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:49,920
...and cut myself off from the world
and, without realising, my friends.

510
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,479
Then I moved to Liverpool.

511
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,479
Yes!
CHEERING

512
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,199
STUDENT: You don't walk alone, lad.

513
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,679
And the more time I spent here,

514
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,679
the more I started to regain
those parts of myself I'd lost

515
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,240
and discover who I really am.

516
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,759
But the truth is,

517
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,199
when it comes to private schools
and state schools

518
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,599
and the worlds they represent,
I'm not for or against.

519
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,159
I don't believe
we should be picking sides.

520
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,719
Why are we so obsessed

521
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,199
with splitting everything
into two piles?

522
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,679
Good or bad. Posh or poor.

523
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,279
Right or wrong.

524
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,559
Because, for me,
the answer isn't one or the other,

525
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:26,799
it's the bit in between.

526
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,040
The combination.

527
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,479
Let's stop trying to win
the argument

528
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,719
and try to understand
what's good about the other side,

529
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,880
so we can use it
to create something better.

530
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,920
I'm a product of both worlds.

531
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,119
Born in Surrey, made in Liverpool.

532
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,839
CHEERING

533
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,320
And I'm proud of both.

534
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,959
So why should I choose between them

535
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,719
when bringing them together
makes much more sense

536
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,519
than keeping them apart?

537
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

538
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,640
Wow. Thank you
for that, Christopher.

539
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,999
Although, as this is a debate,

540
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,559
you've sort of got
to be for or against.

541
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,279
And as the adjudicators
have flagged,

542
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,759
not only have you failed to do that,

543
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,399
but you have barely referenced
the statements of the debate.

544
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,719
Queenswood House wins.

545
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

546
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,880
CHRISTOPHER: I'm really sorry.
Hey.

547
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,600
I-I just wanted to apologise.

548
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,880
Look, no hard feelings, lads.

549
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,479
Hey, you were so good.
Respect for that debate.

550
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:55,919
And I'm sorry for not trying harder,
for disappearing.

551
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,839
That's all right.

552
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,839
Your mum would be really proud

553
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,639
of the life you've made
for yourself here, man.

554
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,479
Although, she'd be less proud
when we annihilate you AGAIN

555
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,759
at next year's
Debating Championship.

556
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,240
BOTH LAUGH

557
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,679
Oh, no, you know what?

558
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:15,919
I think I'm done
trying to change people's minds.

559
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,919
Not yet, you're not!

560
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,560
I need youse, boys.
For one last hurrah.

561
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,239
What's going on?
An intervention, lad. For you.

562
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,079
And inter what? We're not letting
this Temu life coach

563
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,879
lead you astray any longer.

564
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,519
He's making you insufferable, Lewis.
It's embarrassing.

565
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,359
He's only trying to better himself.
By erasing who he is.

566
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:48,079
Guys, is...
is that what you really think?

567
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,559
No, I just came cos he said
he'd buy us some scran, lad.

568
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,559
Yeah,
and we don't actually know you.

569
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,239
We just know you look about 42.

570
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,919
MO: He does, to be fair.

571
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,440
Lewis, you need to pack it in, lad.

572
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,119
Just look us in the eye
and accept who you are.

573
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:05,479
Whose eye
am I supposed to look into?

574
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,799
Most lads go round pretending
that they've got it all together.

575
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,279
But you've never pretended, lad.

576
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,159
You were chaos.

577
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,000
You were honest. You were alive.

578
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,799
By God, you were alive, lad.

579
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,599
You said mad things,
you did mad things.

580
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,519
You know, you felt everything.

581
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,319
You'd cry watching porn,
then you'd headbutt a bin. Yeah.

582
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,479
Yeah, it got you into trouble,
but it was real.

583
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,840
You were real.

584
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:37,959
You don't fix a fire
by putting it out, lad.

585
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,399
That's exactly what you do.
Shut the fuck up, you little scruff!

586
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,599
You dancing it, lad?

587
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,599
Mmm.

588
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,600
Come back to us, lad.

589
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:53,359
I suppose I do miss
wanking myself silly.

590
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:57,120
I miss watching you, bro.
I know.

591
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,599
I'm flattening anyone
who gets cheeky.

592
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,399
KIERON GROWLS

593
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,279
I just, you know, grabbing someone

594
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,120
and getting in their face,
like, you little maggot!

595
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,359
You little pterodactyl!

596
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,559
You little overnight oats!

597
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,360
LEWIS LAUGHS

598
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,239
I, Lewis...

599
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,759
Accept it, lad!

600
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:28,679
...am and always will be a proud...

601
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,119
Preach it!

602
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,639
...perverted...

603
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,279
Say it!

604
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,559
...dickhead!
Yeah!

605
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:41,119
Aaaaaah!

606
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,600
? Nice

607
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,120
? I ain't nice

608
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,680
? It ain't nice, whoo!

609
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,000
? Nice. ?

610
00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:05,600
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